THE LOWDOWN
IF YOU ARE...
Feeling stuck, I want you to know that you are safe and seen here.
YOU DON'T NEED...
To try harder or do more. You are just the parent your child needs.
YOU CAN HAVE
A child with high needs and still have lots of good, fun times together.
I'M SONALI
A deeply feeling, compassionate parent coach and cheerleader, founder of the Raising Your Strong-willed Child Summit, speaker and educator, disability advocate and single mom of 3 wonderful complex kids.
For the longest time I felt unseen and undeserving.
Today I can say firmly that I love who I am and the life I lead, even though it has been a long and - not gonna lie - messy road getting here.
A LITTLE BACKGROUND...
I didn't want to be the only one in my family with pink skin and white hair. My family is Indian in origin, and I look nothing like them. People like me, with albinism, have bodies that make little or no melanin, which determines hair, eye and skin color, among other things.
The short of it is, I felt like I stood out for all the wrong reasons, so…
I tried to fit in.
Later, I learned I was visually impaired and really didn't see things the same as everyone else.
I didn't like how folks made fun of my sight disability, but I didn't want their pity either.
So rather than raise my hand and voice my needs?
I tried to fit in.
And then when I had kids? What worked like magic for other parents ended in mega meltdowns for us.
But even then I kept doing what the experts told me would work.
AKA:
I TRIED TO FIT IN
(It didn’t work because doing the things that don’t work over and over again only bring the same frustrating results!)
Where was Sonali in all this?
Standing over there in the corner, head in my hands, catastrophizing, that’s where!
But really, what “fitting in” really meant was denying myself and my life. Wishing away my body, my personality - and my kids' personalities in the name of appearing normal.
But what's normal anyway?
No wonder I felt miserable!
TUNING INTO MY BOUNDARIES
changed everything
You see, in denying myself for so long, it got hard knowing what I really needed, and what my kids needed too.
Which resulted in a lot of stuck feelings. A lot of frustration. A lot of fighting. And waterfalls of tears.
Boundaries became my touchstone, helping me:
-
- Stop enforcing rules just because everyone else used them - despite the fact they clearly didn’t work for us.
- Foster connection to blossom naturally - rather than force it.
- Recognize when a tool like Special Time would be useful - but also recognize if I could give it the full heart it deserved.
- Understand where my kids misunderstood my meaning, and where I misunderstood theirs.
So that I could finally embrace who I was and who we are as a family - with all our little weirdnesses and unpredictable reactions.
Now, we feel connected like the roots of an Oak tree - strong and resilient. And when stormy winds blow, we bend together.
I can plan a trip to the museum without fearing an epic meltdown. I can insist that a room gets tidied, without getting into a big fight about it. And I can decide that today, yes, I get to go out with a friend - even though one of my children has very strong feelings about that.
Now there's an in-my-heart trust that I'm a good parent, with great kids - even though we all mess up sometimes.
It's a switch that brings peace-of-mind, deeply felt connection and day-to-day joy to our family.
I call it my flow state in parenting, and I can’t wait to help you find that flow state too
FIND YOUR FLOW STATE IN PARENTING
If you feel like a parent who is always on high alert, if those “gold standard” parenting approaches haven't worked, if you're worried about your kids and whether they’ll ever fit in or do well, if you’re anxious about what everyone else thinks, or guilty about not giving your complex kid what they need, then stick around…
I’ll show you how you can confidently parent your complex kid - your little rule-breaker, freedom protector, curious questioner - in a way that meets both your needs and feels good to you both.
Discover mind-to-heart parenting that meets your child's needs and yours.
DISCOVER HOW WE CAN WORK TOGETHERACKNOWLEDGMENT
We see and appreciate all that you are doing, and we bring light to the places that can feel overwhelming.
STRATEGIES
Designed with high-needs kids in mind, that fosters a stable, fulfilled and joyful family dynamic.
CONFIDENCE
Know in your heart you are raising considerate, compassionate, life-loving humans.
SEE WHAT'S POSSIBLE
"I'm a mom of a strong-willed, neurodivergent 9-year-old boy. Sonali provides a nurturing space of healing and love. She is caring, insightful, knowledgeable - and truly magical."
Nahline, Mom of 9-year-old
"Working with Sonali has been life changing for me! I have learned so much about myself while gaining clarity, confidence, and an extensive repertoire of parenting solutions. Sonali is safe, transparent, and authentic."
